Excerpt – The Renegades – The Supposed Doom of Dirk

Chapter 10 – The Supposed Doom of Dirk

As an aside, the RAMD drum solo was dedicated to a Renegade bass drummer who accidentally faked his own death. True story.

Once upon a time just after the 1999 season, Dirk the bass drummer (not his real name) got sick. And I mean sick. S-I-C-K. Sick. Sadly enough, Dirk ended up in the hospital and it looked dire. Preparing for a visit by the Grim Reaper, Dirk got on his computer and wrote very sad and eloquent farewell messages to his family, friends, and instructors at Renegades, to be sent out after his demise.

Then, once upon a time, those farewell emails got sent out. The heart-broken recipients included Dirk’s family, friends, and yes, even his instructors at Renegades. We hadn’t heard from Dirk for a while, but we knew he had been sick. After we got the emails, we thought Dirk was … errr … well … dead.

For two days, it was depressing in Renegades-land and we made a sad public announcement of the death of our beloved corps member. Poor Dirk. Poor Renegades. Poor, poor Dirk. From heartbreaking and horrible, the situation took a hard left. It went from opera to sitcom. Two days after the alleged tragedy, the allegedly dead guy called Brandon. Dirk said hi and asked how things were going with the Renegades. “Oh, by the way,” he explained. “I’m not dead. I’m home, and doing quite well. Somebody hacked into my computer and send the emails out. Sorry.”

Of course, Dirk had allegedly been dead for two alleged days, and the Renegades were officially in a state of mourning. So, it took a few minutes for alleged Dirk to convince Brandon that he was, in fact, actually alive Dirk. Once Brandon believed that Dirk was not a zombie in captivity with phone privileges, it took another minute for Brandon to pick the phone up off of the floor and his heart rate to return to normal.

The next day, the Renegades had to issue a surreal retraction of the announcement of Dirk’s death … which only added to the growing mystique of the corps.


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