- Every Sunday, watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 instead of the 49er game. It will feel like a crushing defeat, but not as bad.
- Play Madden video football, but do whatever you need to do to the settings and team roster to kick the Seahawks ass, including creating a quarterback with accuracy of nine million, and the running ability of Iron Man. Turn up the heat and the volume so it feels like you’re at the stadium. Win!
- Party like it’s 1994. Watch a 49ers game from the 94 season every Sunday, scream for Steve Young and Merton Hanks, put on a throwback and white sweats and do the chicken dance around the living room every touchdown – pretend it’s now. Disclaimer: You may need a beer for this to work.
- Soccer. It actually does not suck if you take the time to understand it.
- Beer. Possibly relates to the successful execution of steps #3 and maybe #1.
- Steelers – join the bandwagon, be astonished when you first see Vick in a black Steelers uniform running the offense.
- Don’t panic. The 49ers organization will regroup.