Chaos Report – Motion Pictures and Virtual Liverpool Soccer

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February 19, 2016.

This week, I exceeded my weekly quota for causing chaos in the motion picture industry by a factor of approximately nine and one half light years.

As a virtual FIFA soccer coach on PS4, the Reds avoided relegation, but I got fired anyway by the Liverpool board of directors, making them the second English Premiere League Team to fire me as manager — the first was Manchester United, after a series of debacles involving the “X” button and the virtual Wayne Rooney’s inexplicable but superman-like ability to kick the ball almost completely out of the stadium when trying to score a goal.

I just started coaching a team in Spain, Athletic Bilbao. I have no idea what the name means or where they are actually from in Spain, but we beat Barcelona last night, enraging lots of little virtual people the don’t really exist. Some people pour a stiff drink at the end of the a long work day. I coach Liverpool. Errrr … Athletic Bilbao.

In all other areas, all quiet on the Western front.

Have a nice weekend, everyone.

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