EXT. PARTY ZONE X – NIGHT
Ground zero, Hollywood party. DRUMMERS and DJ LONDON perform THE TRANCE. Sexy CHARACTERS dance. On the side, PIZZA. On the night before their wedding, reality television stars and WOODY and NIKKI dance in one another’s arms.
A small television crew, DIRECTOR, and MICHAEL, films everything.
Cut! Cut! Stop! For the love of God, stop!
The MUSIC stops, the DIRECTOR storms over to Woody and Nicki.
Look, I get this is the night before the biggest day of your entire life, I really do. But can you please put a little effort into this?
What are you talking about?
Conflict! It’s the essence of television. I need you to start arguing. Complain about something. Slap somebody. Give me something to shoot. Conflict is money on television!
You don’t need to hurt people to make good television.
Thank you for the input, but the peanut gallery does not get a vote.
Oh my god–
Show Nikki some respect!
You’re not allowed to crash the party like this.
Oh yes, I am! I’m the Director aka the creative visionary behind this stupid show about your so- called life. You want to play in TV land, you listen to me!
(to DJ London)
You, back to the tunes!
(to Nikki and Woody)
You, let’s shoot something chaotic or shocking, so we can leave here with usable footage!
She said no. And if you don’t like that, read the contract. This weekend is off-limits. You can film, but contractually speaking, you can not interfere with us or the wedding, in any way.
We don’t care about ratings, this is our real life. Leave us alone!
Listen mall rats, it’s not like you’re real actors who follow a script!
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