Melania Trump and her RNC speech.


There is much ado today about Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention. Breathless cable news commentators play excerpts of Michelle Obama’s speech back-to-back against Melania Trump’s speech, as if we are the jury in the most kooky copyright lawsuit in the history of jurisprudence.

Let me tell you something from the viewpoint of an average American.

By definition, 99% of the content of every speech ever given at any political convention in the history of the United States is complete rah-rah bullshit. Generally, no one says anything you can disagree with, in any speech, and they all say the exact same thing.  Literally.

Make America Great?  How can you disagree with that, that’s what every politician says, just in different words. No one outside of Josef Stalin or Ted Cruz on a bad day uses the slogan of Bring Back the Depression, yeah?

You may disagree with every thought and policy behind Mr. Trump’s slogan, as it were, but that level of analysis is not what a convention is about. By definition, the event is a self-admiration society turned into a pep rally, and if anyone thinks they are missing some sort of Ghandi or Einstein like wisdom relevance in the content of any speech by almost anybody at a major political convention … you’re not.

Don’t get me wrong. Democracy is the best, and the only, path for the United States of America, in perpetuity. As it should be. And it is great to hear from the family members and other relevant individuals. But the speeches given at this event, are largely nonsense. In 100 years, people are going to look back and scratch their heads. Yeah, it was the guy from the Apprentice.

Which brings me to the topic at hand, Melania Trump and her speech.

First, just like Michelle Obama, I think Melania Trump would make a dynamite celebrity first lady. Rock star, in fact.

But let’s pretend for a second, that every word from Melania’s speech was taken from Michelle Obama, her speech writer ran amok, stole every word.

Copyright lawsuit?  In theory.

But we are looking at the issue the wrong way. This is not a copyright lawsuit, it’s political theater. And possibly, a new way forward.

Allow me to explain, cats.

Since the context of any given speech at a political convention is homogenous and largely not relevant by this stage of the game — we should encourage all candidates and their family members to steal speeches from historical figures. But only the best ones. They should be allowed to get behind that podium and give whatever inspiring speech they want to.

Michelle Obama’s original speech was so heart-felt and electrifying, maybe that’s the speech every potential first lady should have to give.

Why re-invent something that is already brilliant? That’s like trying to write a new hit song every day, instead of enjoying the great song.

How cool would it be, for Donald Trump to randomly give us a surprise reading of Reagan’s 1980s Soviet Union Evil Empire speech? Or for Hillary to read excerpts from the Magna Carta. Rudy G. can read Billy Joel lyrics instead of shout at people. And maybe everybody can give their speech in character, in costume. Only two words come to mind when one envisions a Bernie Sanders reading of the Gettysburg address, complete with black stovepipe hat … FREAKIN GENIUS. 

My fellow Americans,

We must come together one. We must forgive and forget all of the complaints about stolen speeches. From this day forth, we must encourage this theft of intellectual property, in the name of entertainment.

This is our historic opportunity to make Television great again.


[humor – no offense to anybody, red or blue]


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